Knits

I know, I should be spacing this posts out so not to have great big gaps, but I’m all chatty from being cooped up I guess.

Actually, I’ve got a few thoughts on how my year is going. One word to sum it up is Crap. I know there were almost 4 months of the year before my sister died, but really only about two of those happened without the life events starting up so I have sort of forgotten about January and February — can’t really tell you a single thing that happened other than a couple of work-related meetings.

The start of March was all a bit weird with trying to figure out if I was going to the US and when, getting my new visa and passport back, packing up my life and storing it, and then leaving. It was a blur. Once I arrived in the US, well as I said previously, the time went dreadfully slow, especially in the beginning, but also at light speed. It was and always will be a weird moment of time. My year began in May when I returned to the UK.

I’m confused that it’s already July — I somehow missed the spring and the various markers in the calendar to let me know the year was progressing. I’m in a new job in a new city and feeling very unsettled. Just when I was beginning to feel a bit more secure in my job and get caught up I missed a week of work (combination of 2 days vacation and 3 days sick) which makes me feel very anxious and like I won’t catch up. I just feel like so much is slipping through the cracks right now.

I have so many emails I haven’t returned, projects I want to work on (knitting and otherwise), but some how I have no time. I come home and I piss around on the internet and then I realise it’s 8pm and I haven’t started dinner so I do that or I eat a bowl of cereal. Then I piss around a bit more and suddenly it’s 1130 and I should really be getting into bed. Too many of my nights go like this right now. I just lose track of time doing NOTHING. Seriously, nothing.

I know part of it is that some of the projects require me to sit and not necessarily concentrate, but be more work-like yet my current set up at home does not allow for that; it’s uncomfortable and inconvenient. There are so many things I want to be knitting. I want to finish a pair of freakin’ socks! I hate seeing all those WIPs in my Ravelry notebook. (A few aren’t going to get touched until I move and can unearth them.) Yet, I signed myself up for a KAL and it’s not like the sun will fall from the sky if I don’t start or complete said object this month, but I’d really like to give it a try. I’d also like to get my cardigan underway. And my mom’s blanket.

I think I need to do what I do best and make a list of all the things I want to do or need to do. It will actually make me feel less stressed about it, but then I am also likely to forgot things unless I keep that list visible as I taught myself years ago to write things down or else I’d get stressed out trying to remember too much. Now I have the problem that I barely remember anything if I don’t write it down.

I’m actually taking full advantage of all the personal and professional development courses my new employer offers. There are some things I’m required to take (things on annual appraisals and participating in interview panels), but there is a slew of other things I’ve signed up for: speed reading, memory and mind mapping, and I may sign up for the time management one if it’s not all about making Gantt charts.

Much of this post has been brewing for awhile now, but Debbie’s recent post on her Summer Wish List inspired me to put it out there — make myself accountable really. I want to do other things OUTSIDE the house like take an art or photography course, volunteer some time some where, but I am being lazy about it in some ways. I have found some courses I’d love to take, but they are not local and would require 90 minutes on the bus each way on a Saturday morning. I honestly don’t think I want to sign up to that. I want to start swimming again (I have been saying this for 2 years) especially since I don’t cycle daily now.

I really hope I can start living a life I want to live instead of just floating through it doing the bare minimum required of me…

All photos from Brussels.

I am clearly on the mend. Appetite is mostly back, I am craving chocolate and sweets again (before the thought of such things made me feel sick to my stomach), and I am feeling less tired. Hurrah. I did lose a few pounds thanks to mostly not eating for five days. Also, plain, boiled potatoes? BLAND. SO BLAND. Maybe tonight I can eat something with a wee bit of flavour. I’m even trying a small cup of coffee…

I have another blanket question totally unrelated to the one about my mom’s potential blanket… In November 2006 Kristal wanted me to show her how to knit. I went and bought her some yarn and needles and showed her. She was working on it, but never got very far. When I was cleaning up her room I found the yarn and needles and two teeny rectangles she’d made. Combine this with all the remnants of yarn from hats I made her and I’ve got a decent amount - not enough for a whole blanket, but a good starting point. My question is, being inexperienced as I am, these yarns are a variety of weights and fibres — acrylic mixes, alpaca, silk wool blends, etc — would it just be silly to try to make a blanket or something out of such a motley mix of weights and fibres? I’m okay w/ the handwashing bit (she says now). I think a log cabin may be the best way to go on this.

I made it out to the knitting group last night. We tried out a new venue that was nicer in terms of lighting, but it felt a bit anti-social because of the set up and very loud music. We will give it another go, but choose a different seating area.

This weekend I will spend knitting and relaxing. I hope to finish up a sock so I can have yet another lone sock. I signed up for a Interweave Sock-a-long (Rav Group) which is what it says on the tin — knit one of 3 chosen patterns this month (two of them are freely available). I want to get started on this so I can maybe actually knit a pair of socks in a month. God I am so slow.

I leave you with something good and something weird:

All photos are from Ghent. There are a few more in my Flickr set.

Welcome to the bad news blog…

I went away to Brussels, had a great time until late-Sunday night when I came down with the worst case of food poisoning I have ever had. I was sick the entire night and next day. I was stable enough to travel home Monday afternoon, but it was a miserable journey. I managed to sleep between Brussels and London, but the train from London to home was rather crowded and I couldn’t do anything but stare out to the horizon so as not to feel like I’d puke into the lap of the man sat next to me. I had a big meeting yesterday morning so I attended that, but took the afternoon off to get some rest. I woke up this morning with a bit of relapse so I took today off too.

Before I left I had made an appointment to take Trigger in first thing on Tuesday as I could see her tumour had rapidly grown in the last couple of weeks. It was clearly bothering her a lot as she pawed at it so much that she made it raw and was acting very skittish — something she never did before. When I made the appointment I said I think she will need sedation so they can do X-rays and a proper exam since her last one was back in November or something.

When the vet saw her he agreed and asked me in what order I noticed the change in symptoms and behaviour. He said what I already knew — that the cancer was in such a place that there was little to do surgically or even with aggressive therapies like chemo or laser. He said that it may be likely that they’d sedate her and see that the cancer was at such a stage as the best course would be to let her go…

I had to let my little kitty go yesterday. The tumour had spread so much and there was nothing they could do. She’d only get worse and any treatments they could give her wouldn’t really help.

I knew this was coming so I am not as devastated as I was with losing Dakota so unexpectedly last year which actually makes me feel like a bit of an arse. It’s very lonely not having a kitty here to headbutt me and tell me when it’s time to go to bed or insist that she come in the bathroom with me so she can have a drink out of the tap. I don’t need to be careful about kicking the water bowl…

I’m ready for this part of my life to move forward. I have had way too much loss in the last 12 months; way too much upheaval.

RIP Trigger kitty.

Please ignore the cat fur. Everything in my flat is covered in cat fur and it is impossible to get rid of it. As un-environmentally friendly tumble dryers are, I really miss having one and as soon as I actually have the space I will get a basic VENTED one to help wick away the cat fur from things like sheets, towels, blankets, duvet covers, etc. on occasion.

Anyway, that’s Dream in Color Classy in Gothic Rose. Definitely doesn’t sound like the sort of colour I’d normally go for… rose!? But it is very nice. Deep, rich burgundy with a whole slew of complementary colours. I am going to attempt to knit another cardigan. I knit a swatch last weekend (see above) and washed it only to release that I couldn’t find my pins to block it. I bought some more, not as nice, but 3x the price!, and blocked. My gauge is off by one-half to one-full stitch. I think it should be okay because the weight and a better blocking should sort that out. I probably won’t actually cast on for a couple weeks as I’m really busy this week and have a sock or two to keep me occupied.

I’ve got some work travel this week which I’m not looking forward to really as it requires getting a train at stupid-o’clock which means waking up at even-stupider-o’clock. However, I am taking some time off to go to Brussels for the weekend so that will be loads of fun plus a guaranteed 10-12 hours of knitting time. Hopefully I should be able to accomplish SOMETHING in that time.

Several of us met up yesterday for a knitting group. I cycled and decided to try to avoid the roads. I apparently can’t follow directions if they do not involve roads. I went way out of my way and had an adventure. I made it and managed to knit and have turned the heel and started on the cuff for the Kansas Harvest sock. I feel rather clever for figuring out how to make the grain bits of the pattern not appear upside down since I’m knitting toe-up… I’ll share that later although it really is dead simple. Before we were done knitting it started chucking down with rain. It let up enough that I dashed out in it and managed not to get too wet. It rained the rest of the day and into the night. Today we’ve got 30mph winds…

I wish I had some nice pictures from the gardens to share with you, but the rain drove me away before I could take any. After next weekend I’ll definitely have some pictures to show you and hopefully some will involve actual knitting.

Have a happy week!

Boy howdy, I just can’t keep up with blog posts (it doesn’t help that I’ve added a few new blogs to my reader) nor my emails. I’m really sorry, it’s on my to-do list this weekend because it’s only polite to return a note to nice comments.

Trigger was back at the vet this morning — totally unamused as it required an antibiotic injection since the oral medication was making her sick (and me stressed). I’ll have to take her back in a couple of weeks if things don’t look better although I suspect they will since the few days of antibiotic she got orally already helped the infection. Otherwise her next scheduled visit will be in July for her annual shots and probably some blood work to see how things are going in her system — maybe some X-rays to determine the extent the tumour has grown. *Sigh* The vet used the words “palliative care” today which made me cringe even though I’ve known that that was the case since she was diagnosed with squamous cell carcinoma last autumn. I just don’t like how familiar I am with palliative care these days.

In other news, my knitting progress is stalling. I am desperate to be knitting, but I keep getting distracted by the internet or other things (good things). There are a few things I am chomping at the bit to knit though. One is the which is an adult version of that famous Zimmerman sweater. FlintKnits has provided a free pattern for it. The other is a Lizard Ridge blanket for my mom. I like version 2 and think it would suit my mom’s tastes — and the version seen at sock pr0n is nice too - 4 long panels. I’d really like to do it in the natural colourway (pictured at right) as that would also be more appropriate to her tastes and I think would be really classy and timeless. It seems as though that colourway is no longer really made although I have found enough in stock in a few places, but monetary constraints right now will have to put that purchase on hold. She had previously shown me a Lion Brand pattern she liked, but I think she’d really dig this one. I also found a cute sock pattern, Impressionist socks, and god knows I’ve got enough sock yarn!

Other than all that, no real plans for the weekend. I think I’ll be catching up on some sleep as I think the combination of stress and a lot of meetings this past week wore me out more than I realised. I’ve also done a ton of walking, but now that I’ve got my bike back all tuned and ready, I’ll hop on that and go for a ride.

Hope you’re all having nice, relaxing weekends!

The picture up top is from a Roman statue in the Bardo Museum (can’t find an English version) in Tunis, Tunisia. I went on holiday there three years ago. Official website is here.

Yesterday my sister would have celebrated her 31st birthday. I was glad it was a Friday and a work day because I think I would’ve sat and dwelled on it a lot otherwise. I was also fortunate that due to an illness earlier in the week, my part-time coworker actually worked on Friday and I didn’t have to sit in the office by myself. My mom took the day off and headed north for the weekend to spend it with her friend who lost her son in an accident about 15 years ago. I’m sure there has been much wine drinking.

I wanted to write a post about it yesterday, but I really didn’t know what to say other than I really miss her and know all these firsts are going to be really tough.

As for myself, I’m taking it easy. After a busy day on Thursday that involved finding someone to see for grief counselling and a physiotherapy appointment, I found myself on two new walks home that were just stunning. This area is so beautiful that I’m contemplating my decision to move closer to work… I took my bike in this morning for a tune-up and will get it back Monday. I realised how much I actually miss cycling and how much better it makes me feel so I am going to just suck it up and find my way around, hills be damned.

I visited the Durham Cathedral last weekend during the long weekend. You aren’t allowed to take photos inside and I didn’t even feel like I could take any sneaky ones since it was so busy. I did climb up the tower which was more tiring than I expected. 300+ steps that wind round and round and get narrower and narrower. It was very windy on top of the tower, but the views were beautiful. FYI The picture at the very top is of the Cloisters.

After I was done visiting the Cathedral I went and sat in a quiet little garden around the back of it and started knitting. Every bench was taken when I arrived and five minutes later there was an exodus… hope it was just ’cause it was lunch time. An older couple was leaving and the woman stopped and cooed and said “You don’t see that much these days! Can I have a look?” She reached out and touched the sock I was knitting and said “Aren’t you clever! That’s gorgeous.” It was nice to be complemented. I didn’t stay for much longer as a family arrived with children who weren’t ready to sit still and eat lunch.

We’re having another lovely weekend and it’s definitely going much faster than I’d like. It’s still very light out so it’s a bit deceiving as to how much of the weekend is already gone.

I didn’t exactly hit “mark all posts as read” since I am a bit too nosy and didn’t want to feel out of the loop. Instead I scanned posts and looked at pictures to see what everyone’s been working on. Of course I found a number of things that I went “oooooooh I want that” so they are now favorited in Ravelry.

It is moving into Sunday evening and I have been exceedingly lazy this weekend. I know that’s what weekends are for, but the weather has been nice enough (albeit windy) that I should have got out of the house and into nature. There’s always tomorrow (although considering the recent events in my life, I can’t really say this now as it doesn’t sit well).

So that’s Cascade Pastaza Paints in the fetching name of 9824. I bought it the day after my sister died to make something in her memory. She always loved greens, more the lime and grassy greens, but if something came in a five shades and one was green, she’d pick the green one. I have to say I’m the same way. It reminds me of Lion & Lamb minus that fishy smell since it has no silk.

I certainly didn’t need either of these sock yarns. The one on the left is Lucy Neatby Celestial Sock Merino in Honey Pot (mine looks totally different to the knitted/wound example). It is the colour of the grape vines in the autumn — purples, golds, yellows — gorgeous. I kept picking it up and putting it down and finally said “F it, I don’t need, but it’s beautiful and today is about me” because it was. It was a hard day exactly one week after Kristal died and I was getting my hair cut, buying some clothes, doing the things I normally did when I’d go home for a visit, but I was also taking in some donations to the breast care centre and seeing friends who knew my sister and felt her loss too.

The other is Misti Alpaca Handpainted Sock Yarn (Ravelry link as it’s not on the Misti site yet) in another clever name… 04. It’s a blend of alpaca, merino, silk, and nylon. This is completely out of normal choice of yarns in terms of colour, but something about it just appealed to me. I think I might actually be knitting a plain pair of socks to let the yarn shine. I bought this the same day as the Cascade above. We (me and my mom) needed an escape from the weirdness of going to the Crematorium to sign the papers so we went for some food in the north end of Santa Cruz which of course was next to the yarn store — The Swift Stitch.

The rest of the stash enhancement really is dead boring. I got two skeins of Euroflax Linen in Grape and Willow. And then, amazingly, I managed to buy two skeins of Hemp for Knitting AllHemp6 in nearly identical shades as the Tahki Cotton I bought last year. Hmmm I thought it seemed a familiar combination… Green and Blue. Oh well.

Well, hello. I’m finding it hard to get back into my routine of posting here and reading other blogs. I’m slowly getting there. I’m afraid I’ve mostly had to turn a blind eye and hit “Mark all as read” in my feed aggregator as there were well over 300 posts plus the posts that dropped off due to some bloggers setting limits to how many posts get kept on a feed.

I bought a MacBook (basic) when I was in the US. I am not adapting well. I don’t like the one button mouse and all the various combinations of keys that need pressing because you can’t right click. Also, having to hit two keys for forward delete (something I use a lot) is annoying. I don’t know if I will adapt to this since for work I have to use a PC and have, for the most part, always used a PC. Oh well…

So here’s what’s going on with the knitting…

1. I have finished one of the Neighbourhood Tunnels socks and am halfway through the other. I wish I could say I’d finish it up this weekend since it’s a 3-day weekend, but I know me and how slow I knit. Fingers crossed though.
2. I have a lot of new stash to show you. Things I have bought/received over the last two months even though I didn’t need a single bit of it.
3. I am going to have to have a serious think about clearing out some of this stash as it is overwhelming. That is all that stuff you buy as a new knitter not really knowing what you’ll do with it (although this is still common for me) and of course you never actually buy enough to do anything with it…
4. I went to a knitting meet up in the pub the other day. We are planning on having twice monthly meetups — the 1st Thursday and 3rd Saturday of the month. Plan is for the venue to change sometimes. If you’re in the North East and want more details, get in touch.
5. While it is of course getting on to summer, it is a strange request, but a way to make my stash go down… suggestions for reversible scarf patterns, please as I have a lot of yarn I’ve bought for this purpose.

This post needs some pictures so we’ll start with the two sock clubs.

My Zen Yarn Garden Harmony semi-sold sock club (hahaha that is a serious mouthful) went walkabouts. It did finally turn up, but no idea why it got lost. It’s a colour called Sun Kiss which is a orangey pinky blushy colour. It is pretty, but I don’t know if it’s for me although I am certainly able to be swayed. I think really I’m just overwhelmed with all the yarn in my possession these days. The yarn is a 50/50 superwash merino and tencel yarn. My subscription to this is over as I signed up for 3 months.

Next up is the third instalment of the Socktopus sock club. The yarn is amazing. The colours are soooooooooooooooooo rich and beautiful, but again, not wowed by an entrelac sock pattern. Not sure what sort of pattern I’ll make as it seems a shame to do heels/toes in the contrast yarn since it is so divine. The yarns are from Middlearthknitter and are Chaorite (purple) and Azurite (blue, duh).

I also did a trade before I went to the US with Amy of MadelineTosh yarns. OMG I am so glad I went with my gut and selected the Ginger colourway. It is not normally my type of colour, but I am definitely warming to these warm orangey/yellow colours (hence perhaps warming to the Zen Garden colourway). It is so rich and beautiful. I thought it was pretty in the photos, but in person… *gush*.

That is just the tip of the iceberg in terms of new stash. I’ll update again before the weekend is out. Now, seeing it’s just about to become 1pm, I think it’s probably a good idea to have a shower and get out of my pyjamas. I have a good excuse though, I was ordered to go back to bed by the physiotherapist, but I also admit that I am being very lazy.

I’m back in the UK and have been for almost two weeks. However, I’ve only just got phone service (they lost my order despite calling me about it) and have to wait 48 hours to even order internet access and then of course it’s another 7 days or something ridiculous. I’m at the library and thought I’d just pop in to say hi.

My flat has turned out to be totally crap. It’s in a great location albeit a bit noisy as it actually looks onto a major-ish road (didn’t expect this) and it has absolutely zero storage space. The rooms are a funky shape so it’s hard to put things in. Needless to say, I won’t be staying beyond my 6-month let which is sort of a shame since I hate moving. I guess the upside is that I can take my time a bit more in finding a place to live.

Trigger is fine although her cancer is showing more. She’s settled right in and is enjoying the sunny apartment. The sink is giving her a bit of trouble as it’s all modern and stupid so it’s difficult for her to get in and get her drinks.

I hired a car and drove myself and Trigger up. Having the car let me run a few errands, but I didn’t need it as long as I booked it for and it ended up causing a bit of anxiety for me since my flat has no parking. It’s gone now and I’m awaiting my car club package to come through so that if and when I need a car, I can hire it by the hour and not have to worry about all the trials and tribulations of car ownership.

I start my new job on Wednesday and am looking forward to it although as I’m sure I’ve said before, I’m not looking forward to commuting to work. Blah.

Anyway, I went up the coast a bit, sat on the beach, ate an ice cream, and knit. No knitting to show although I do have a lot of yarn that has come into my possession in the last couple of months. As soon as I get my own connection I’ll bore you with those highlights. Hope you’re all well. I’m as good as can be expected…

It’s almost 1130pm. I leave tomorrow afternoon back to the UK. The time here has both zoomed by and moved in slow motion. All that has happened and all that I have done has not really sunk in.

Today I had my haircut, bought a lot of new clothes and some chocolate, and stopped to see the sea otters in Moss Landing on my way home. There are always dozens of sea otters hanging out in the harbor there, but these otters seem to like to lounge on the beach like the seals and sea lions and I’ve never seen them do that before.

I’ll miss this little piece of California like I always do. I hope my new life in the north of England is good. I may take myself to Edinburgh at the end of May for a weekend since it’s so much closer to me now.

Thanks for sticking with me and I suspect once I’m back on British soil and settled, you’ll see some knitting content again.