Knits

First, thank you all for all the kind comments. I’m sorry I didn’t respond to each of you individually, but I just couldn’t. Everytime I read a comment I’d break down in tears.

I’m getting better. Monday and Tuesday I bawled my eyes out until they stung; and bawled some more. I didn’t even make it to work. I pretty much didn’t sleep on Sunday night / Monday-day even with a heavy sleeping pill — it only gave me about 90 minutes of “peace”. I was so emotionally exhausted that I did sleep nearly 12-hours Monday night (I also had a sleeping pill to help me get there). I also didn’t really eat until Thursday. I tried. From Sunday dinner until Wednesday night I had all of a half piece of toast, two kid-sized pots of yog(h)urt, and two small bowls of cereal. Thursday was the first day I’d eaten actual meals.

 
This terracotta bowl that the previous owner left was one of Dakota’s favourite places to sleep. It was out on the deck and would warm up. He fit inside it really well and would sometimes spin himself around it it to scratch his back. I didn’t bring it with me to the UK as it was too heavy and probably would’ve broken. My mom and sister now have it as they took care of Dakota and Trigger until I could get them here, and my sister’s cat, Ha Ma, now sleeps in it even if he is far too big for it.

 

I wrote a big list of all the charming things about my man, Dakota, that I will miss. Some of them were definitely annoying, but also “him” and thus charming (e.g. his penchant for using the litter box and running out of it at such high speed that a trail of kitty litter was always left in his wake which meant having to vacuum 2-3 times per week). It helped me smile and get past the horribleness of having to watch him die. I do keep reliving that moment, but it was so unreal that it’s getting easier to detach myself from it.

My other cat, Trigger, is slightly confused. I don’t know if she’ll become more confused when she realises that he’s not off having a holiday. She’s changed some of her habits — especially her bedtime habit of getting in the sink while I brush my teeth because at the same time Dakota would come charging into the bathroom and leap over the side of the tub, through the shower curtain and then attack the shower curtain; she often looked down her nose at him. I feel bad that she’s alone at home since she’s had a companion for the last eight years. I’m not going to rush out and get another cat right now — not until I’m ready.

 

I had Dakota cremated and brought him home Wednesday. It is very weird to have him there in this tiny wooden box. I let Trigger have a sniff and she rubbed her face all over it. I need to get a little plaque made for the box although I may get a different urn as I wanted something unique for him. I understand that a plain item can be good to help you remember the true meaning of that item, but I want something beautiful and special just like he was.

I have a few more thoughts on owning a pet and the value I find in it even when things like this, inevitably, happen, but I will save those for another post.

I had started knitting a sock on Sunday, but it wasn’t working out. It was to be the Jigsaw sock, but the chart either doesn’t convert well to toe up or it didn’t appear to because of the yarn choice (Knit Picks Memories¹ - Pansy). I then tried something else (can’t think right now what it was) and decided that didn’t work either. So now I am knitting Anastasia. It is definitely a quick pattern (I had to stop myself before I made a clown sized foot), but thanks to the current issue of Yarnival, I discovered a post about knitting toe up socks and how short row heels don’t really work for those of us with high insteps. Maia has written up a sort of recipe/tutorial on doing a gusset/flap toe up which is far more accommodating for those with a high instep. Since these socks are for me, I am going to knit one with the short row across more stitches which, apparently, creates a deeper heel, and the other with the gusset/flap as suggested in that post and see how I find each fit.

I also got a new camera. Because of the week I had I wasn’t as excited as I normally would be. I’ll be practicing using it this weekend as much as I can as in just over a week I’ll be off to Paris for a few days. The sock picture was taken with the new camera.

¹ I guess they’re discontinuing this yarn? I bought 4 colours and this has really been the only time that I wish I had a colour card first as I find the colours to be hideously bright really. As The Boy said when he saw it “That looks like School Wool. You know, the stuff they use in schools that’s cheap and bright to teach kids crafts.”

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